Pain Behind The Brown Eyes

Can you see the pain that lies behind these pretty brown eyes?
Pain of love, heartache, let downs, and constant lies. I remember the broken promises and always waiting Countless hours for you to show up, and nothing, I had to
Watch my mother hurt because her baby girl was hurting. I had to
Watch her beat herself up over choosing such a sorry ass man to lay down with and
Procreate with. Looking through her eyes she thought she thought you was a better man than what she had been shown before. However you were a letdown a disappointment a reason for a broken heart and a failed marriage. It took her years to gain her confidence back and stand correct and represent as a strong black mother raising her daughter all alone. Never did she ever put you down or paint a bad picture of you. She left that for me to grow and see. I remember the doughnuts for dad at school and never having anyone to show up. Thinking in my mind what did I do wrong to deserve such pain, constant lies, and broken promises? I can remember the waiting and the waiting and mama saying maybe something went wrong again taking nothing from your character. She was such a strong woman although she was so broken. It took years and years for me to see you for who you were and not to blame myself for having such a selfish father. A man that is incapable of loving, telling the truth, and being a great dad. I had to come to terms that you are liar, an ingrate, a lonely man that needs so much prayer sent up, because a man that doesn’t take care of his own is like an infidel. So I pray for you daily that you get it together and seek forgiveness not from me but from my true Father above. That is so capable of showing you how to really love. As I realized at the age of thirty three that God had to take you away from me, because I wanted a dad so bad that I would have put you before I put him and see to me that’s the ultimate love of a Father. So I come today with my head held high taking pride in being a strong black woman that has had some pain behind these pretty brown eyes. So I thank you for helping me to always be the strong black woman I was destined to be. Who is never ashamed to admit where she’s been, or where she’s from, or what things I have been through in life. Cause you see that’s the pain behind these pretty brown eyes.

Rikethia L. Clyburn aka Tha Lyrical Diva
June 12, 2010